The Best Part of Waking Up
by Muddy Tuxedo
Summary: Future trunks has returned from the future and some things go wrong after a nice chat with Krillin. This is a dumb one-shot created purely because I felt like writing something absurd.


**I obviously own the rights to dragon ball, dragon ball z, dragon ball super and all the characters in this story.**

Krillin was asleep in his home located in Satan City when suddenly he's awakened by a large bang outside his house.

"What the fuck was that?" Said Krillin. 18 was still sleeping soundly next to him. "For an android with infinite energy you sure can sleep can't you?"

"I heard that" 18 snarled back.

"Oh shit you're awake?" Krillin said startled. 18 didn't reply but kept sleeping, a light snoring coming from her. "Guess I'd better go check that out, whatever it was."

Krillin steps out of bed and slips on his black Gucci brand slides. Every time he puts them on he feels great, he should too. They were 180 dollars so they'd better fucking feel better than the fucking slippers he used to own from Target. "Man fuck target." Krillin said under his breath. Krillin gets to his front door and opens it when he suddenly sees a familiar face.

"TRUNKS? FUTURE TRUNKS?"

"Yeah, Future Trunks. Nice to see you Krillin!"

"Oh man you've gotta come in, try to be quiet though, 18 and Marron are sleeping upstairs."

The two of them go inside and Trunks sits at the kitchen table while Krillin heads towards the Keurig on the countertop.

"What's that?"

"This old thing? It's a Keurig"

"What's a Keurig?"

"God have you been living under a rock? It's a coffee machine"

"Yeah sorry in the future there isn't really any coffee, or technology, or food, people alive."

"Yeesh no need to get so dark, anyways what're you doing here? Didn't Beerus say he'd destroy you if you came back?"

"That ancient Egyptian looking Siamese fuck low couldn't destroy me, I've been doing cross-fit lately I think I've got that cat in the Versace bag."

"They have cross-fit in the future?"

"Yeah, make sure my coffee's black by the way"

"Gotcha, hey so how's that girl of yours from the future?"

"Oh, she's okay. It's kind of weird living with two of her now though. Not sure if getting with the one of her counts as cheating."

"That's actually a really good question"

"Alright, coffee's ready trunks" said Krillin carrying two mugs of coffee over towards trunks.

"Rad, hey what exactly do you do for a living again?"

"Well I used to be a cop"

"Used to be? What happened to that?" trunks takes a sip of his coffee.

"Well what with all my closest friends resembling Aryans and shaving my head I'm pretty sure the chief just thought I was a neo-nazi."

"Oh that's fucking rough dude, on the bright side you're not a fucking narc anymore"

"Did you just use the n-word in my house? Blue Lives matter you insensitive prick"

"You sure you're not a neo-nazi."

"Whatever dude just drink your coffee"

"If you say so buddy" They both just sat in silence for a bit and just drank multiple cups of coffee and then talked about their batman fan-cast, then shared a cry about the end of furious 7. Suddenly though, Trunks began to get a weird feeling in his chest"

"Oh man my chest feels really weird what the hell?"

"Oh that's the Splenda, don't worry it usually sends me into anaphylactic shock too"

"n-no no this is different, Splenda shock usually feels a lot worse" Trunks clenches his fists over his heart and his hair begins shifting towards a brown color and his muscles begin clenching. "WAIT WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY HAIR NO IT WAS WAY TOO HARD TO GET THIS SHADE OF BLUE NNGHH"

"They have hair dye in the future?"

"GGAH I SAID IT WAS HARD"

"What the hell did you use?"

"B-BLUE HAWAIIAN PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH GRAAAAAAAAAAAH"

Trunks screamed so loud it could be heard all around the city. Trunks' muscles began growing to massive size and his hair's shape resembled that of a Super Saiyan. Krillin backs away from him with fear in his face "I knew I shouldn't have bought Folgers" Suddenly out of nowhere Goku and Vegeta show up together.

"KRILLIN YOU DIPSHIT WHATS GOING ON HERE" said Vegeta.

"Well me and trunks were hanging out over some Folger's coffee and-"

"FOLGERS COFFEE?! YOU IDIOT EVERYONE KNOW MAXWELL HOUSE IS THE SHIT, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY SON"

"ANIME IS THE TRUEST ART, KODAK BLACK ISN'T REAL HIP-HOP, AND I CAN SAY THE N-WOOOOOORD" trunks yelled at the top of his lungs

"Oh no he's a racist now Vegeta" said Goku sadly

"You're gonna pay for this Krillin"

"I'm so sorry Vegeta"

"Well whatever save your apologies for later," grunted Vegeta in his usual tone "we've gotta kill my racist son"

"I don't know guys I think racist is a harsh word you're just misinterpreting him" said Krillin.

"We get it Krillin you're a neo-nazi" both Vegeta and Goku said in unison.

Vegeta and Goku then fly up and crash through Krillins roof and challenge Super Saiyan Coffee Trunks to a battle. "Come on you racist" yelled Vegeta, whether it was meant for trunks or Krillin nobody knows.

"IM NOT RACIST IT'S MY FREEDOM OF SPEEEEEEEEEECH" trunks yelled as he flies up to meet them with a flurry of punches which are returned by Vegeta who quickly transforms into Super Saiyan blue, however this is not enough and he struggles against trunks.

"What the fucking hell? This form is even stronger than Super Saiyan blue!?"

Goku then goes SSB Kaio-ken 30x and attempts to take trunks on from behind while he's busy with Vegeta but it's also useless. Soon after this both Vegeta and Goku lay on the floor motionless and Krillin stands in the same spot he was in before, quaking in his $180 Gucci Slides. The extremely jacked trunks began approaching Krillin slowly when he let out a yell and propelled his fist towards Krillin's face. "THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP IS MY FIST IN YOU-" He suddenly stopped and began to make choking noises as Krillin lay on the floor in the fetal position muttering the our father prayer but he stops when he notices that he's not dead. He opens his eyes to see trunks laying on the ground convulsing violently when he realizes.

"Oh thank god the Splenda shock kicked in, I should've known it wasn't gonna take much longer. " Krillin breathed a sigh of relief. "let's get you home buddy" Krillin takes future trunk's unconscious body and loads it into his time machine and sets the coordinates for his original timeline and then shuts the top of it. After a couple of minutes of whirring engine noises it lifts itself up into the air and then disappears with a flash. Trunks is on his way back home.

Soon after that Vegeta and Goku come back into consciousness and Krillin gets them Gatorade and some senzu beans from the local Walgreens to heal their wounds. Then the three of them sat on the couch and turned on the T.V. when suddenly some steps came from upstairs.

"Huh? 18 is that you?" said Krillin

"Ugh, What's all that racket?" said 18

"Oh nothing honey, me, Goku, and Vegeta were just watching the Lakers game"

 **The End**

 _ **Author's note: this probably goes without saying but no I don't actually own dragon ball. I'm not Akira Toriyama**_


End file.
